On its home page this morning the Star Tribune has plastered a big story about the local editions of the No Kings protests. The story runs with two bylines and notes six contributors. The staff observes: “Their objections ranged from ongoing ICE raids to the federal government shutdown, from Medicaid cuts and the treatment of immigrants to the deployment of National Guard units to major U.S. cities.” My translation: We don’t need no stinkin’ law enforcement.
The Star Tribune seems to have a jones for Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison. The story features a photo of Ellison behind an “ICE Out of MN!” sign and quotes him: “We’ve got a violence crisis. An oligarch crisis. All they ever got for me and for you are thoughts and prayers. But I’m thinking and I’m praying for no kings.”
We’ve got an Ellison crisis. We haven’t seen a king in Minnesota since the legislature let Tim Walz’s 15-month declaration of one-man rule lapse in 2021. Students of ancient history may recall that Ellison was the king’s enforcer for the duration of Walz’s kingship. I’m praying that Ellison returns to private life as the racial hustler he has been always been since he donned the mantle of the Nation of Islam and agitated on its behalf.
If it’s any consolation to the crowd, Minnesota remains a refuge. It is a refuge for illegal alients, left-wing hipsters, and teenagers from other states who long to have their body parts chopped without parental intervention. So we’ve got that going for us, thanks to Walz, Ellison, and Democrat trifecta of 2023-2024.
President Trump will depart his office in January 2029. Tim Walz is contending for the power to continue extend his reign from 2019 to 2031. Lord help us.
Living funny is the best revenge. A reader points out that the Star Tribune story does not allow comments. Our subscribers are invited to comment below on the No Kings revelry.
JUST IN: ‘TeamTrump’ trolls the ‘No Kings’ protests on Instagram by sharing an AI video of President Trump dressed like a king in front of the White House with Andrea Bocelli music playing.
The video amassed 34,000 likes in just 30 minutes. pic.twitter.com/tBIuwCfARd
— Collin Rugg (@CollinRugg) October 18, 2025
