A woman has hailed the benefits of choosing a different send off for her husband of nearly 60 years as more Brits make the switch. Monica Hayden, 80, from Merriott in Somerset, lost David Hayden, 86, in April. He had decided that he would like to be directly cremated – which entails a body being cremated without a formal funeral service nor mourners present.
Instead, family and friends had a service in a church and “lovely” wake for £2,000, during which they remembered Mr Hayden, who was much-loved by many, including those who had played for the local youth football team he ran. Mrs Hayden, who met her companion during an inter-village skittles match, said: “It was all just a service to celebrate the life that he’d led, all his life.”
The former child-minder and foster carer added that she has chosen a direct cremation for herself as she was left impressed with the cheaper and more pleasant process after her husband’s death. “It was very cheap,” Mrs Hayden said. “It was much cheaper.”
She rang up the firm she had arranged a £6,700 funeral plan with asking for some money back, and a direct cremation instead. The request was granted, and £5,000 was returned to her. Mrs Hayden knows others who have and will have a direct cremation.
She said: “My friend had lost her husband and she was praising them up. And then since “I’ve done it, there’s lots of people gone over, I think, to [direct cremation].
“My sister has, and so has my friend… She went in and said to the undertaker, ‘I don’t want a funeral now; I just want a direct cremation.’”
Mrs Hayden added: “I just don’t see what warrants all that thousands and thousands of pounds.”
“I’ve lost some good friends as well, and just sit there and look at a coffin, and then the curtains get drawn at the crematorium. It’s all so – I don’t know what the word is, really, to describe it.
“But David’s was a happy day.”
“David was the most lovely, gentle, kind person,” Mrs Hayden said.
“He helped me with my child-minding for 40 years, and we were foster parents.
“He was a wonderful foster dad.
“You could tell during the celebration of his life, how much he was loved, and I received over one hundred cards, and they all said, what a kind, loving man he was.
“Because he would help anybody. He’d give his last penny away.
“We didn’t have a lot, but what we had, we would share.”
Pure Cremation’s Cost of Funerals Research has found that the average burial funeral is £6,065, £1,833 more than a cremation at £4,232 on average.
The most expensive funeral director in the UK charges £4,485 for their services alone, with the cheapest charges £812.
Ian Atkinson, marketing director at Pure Cremation, said: “As we compiled this report, it became clear that just looking at a funeral director’s ‘standardised price list’ won’t give you the real cost in many cases,” said Ian.
“Funeral directors will put a price range next to some items, some will put ‘price on request’ next to some items, and there will often be a list of extras – such ‘additional miles’ charges that it is impossible for families to work out in advance.
“There remains far too much ambiguity around what’s included, what isn’t, and what families actually end up paying. That leaves grieving families vulnerable to hidden costs at the worst possible time.
“Our report aims to change that by giving families a fully transparent way to compare funeral prices in their area — so they know exactly what they’re paying for.”
Bereaved families are turning to crowdfunding and loan sharks to pay for funerals as the cost of a traditional service saw its biggest annual increase since 2016, according to SunLife.
The cost of a traditional attended funeral jumped 5.3% to £4,510 last year, according to the company.
A simple attended funeral, which includes the core elements of a traditional service but with fewer add-ons such as a memorial and flowers, is now the most common choice in the UK, costing an average of £3,828.
When teamed with a memorial, catering, venue hire and flowers, total spending on the average funeral rose to £5,140.
Rising prices have been driven by increased cremation and burial fees, higher coffin prices, and increased living costs.
Some 15% of families say they have faced financial hardship paying for a funeral, having to find an extra £2,365 on average.
