Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 23 March.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here is the winning entry for the previous competition:
Church TimesChurch Times
If only all church facilities were so clearly signposted (Valerie Budd)
A SELECTION of this week’s entries:
“Surely a shoo-in for an Eco-Church recycling award” (John Saxbee); “The graffiti artist blames God for moving the toilet, but it was actually the Privy Council” (Philip Lickley); “The church had relocated its toilet to the west end, but people were puzzled why this needed to be advertised” (Richard Hough); “Unique opportunity: well-preserved property with outstanding historic character — his tomb is to be found in the church: that of Archbishop Matthew Parker” (Julian Ashton); “The new church toilet sign caused consternation in the congregation!” (Jo Mash).
“Rumour has it that Reform UK are taking the lease to stop the church being turned into a mosque” (Mervyn Cox); “The Lord moves in mysterious ways!” (Mark Parry); “A cunning plan to flush all cares away” (Nick Baker); “‘Church to let . . . what?’ wondered the congregation” (Michael Foster); “God’s in his heaven, and his house is on Airbnb” (Alison Rollin); “I can’t read that small writing at the bottom from here; what on earth is the Church going to let people do now?” (Neil Inkley); “Would make a good mosque” (Geoffrey Robinson).
“The editor had ruled that no bog-standard captions would be allowed” (Derek Wellman)*; “God’s working from home now. Premises available” (Scott Humm); “Is it listed on Righteousmove?” (Becky Jenkins); “You would have to forward messages to God’s new address” (Brian Stevenson); “It may no longer meet people’s spiritual needs, but at least relief is available” (Richard Curtis); “Don’t worry, He’s just down-sizing” (Mike Brown); “WC Flushing plc won the Almighty Contract for the removal of the toilet” (Robin Morgan).
“In my Father’s House are many mansions” (Richard Strudwick); “God made redundant in medieval Norwich churches and replaced under ‘Adopt, Adapt, Improve’, with puppeteers, painters, musicians, stonemasons, circus, and martial artists!” (Dev Nallathamby); “If only God had installed a stairlift, he needn’t have moved. . .” (Valerie Ganne); “God had indeed relocated to a nice little retirement home in St Peter’s Close” (Rob Falconer); “Plenty of rooms for those of high or low estate” (Paulette Yallop); “For a second or two, I thought they’d at last got a loo” (Robert Shooter).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
