How much should we be tithing to our church?

Dear Chuck,

Our house, cars, and credit card debt prevent us from giving to the church. We argue about this, but my husband wants to get out of debt first before we start giving. I think we are robbing God. Can you help unite us?

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Divided Over Giving

Dear Divided Over Giving,

Thank you for your very sincere question. I believe there is hope for unity despite your different views. Like your husband, I held the same view for many years. I had good intentions and a plan to give generously — but only when we were not struggling financially.

Everyone is generous

For years, I was a very content charitable giver of 2.6% of our gross annual income. I believe this is close to the national average for American Christians. My wife wanted to give a minimum of 10% of our gross annual income, but I always told her that there was no way we could afford to do that. We were divided and stuck for many years.

A significant shift occurred in my thinking when a friend shared with me that everyone is generous. The challenge is what we prioritize. You see, I was giving generously to myself and my family. I was spending everything God entrusted to me on us.

Through the conviction of Scripture, a Crown Bible Study, and the encouragement of my wife, God changed my heart in 1999. We had been married for 21 years before we became united in our belief that giving to the Lord should become a priority. When my wife and I agreed to follow what God says we should do with money, He united us in our hearts and minds.

I remember telling my wife that if we increased our giving from 2.6% to 10%, that dramatic increase would require us to change our lifestyle. I said, “You realize this will change how much home we can buy, what we can afford to drive, and how we live, don’t you?” She replied, “Now you finally get it.”

We united around God’s truth that it truly is “more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35) and made giving to the Lord our top financial priority from one month to the next — before we got out of debt! 

Giving is not a legal requirement to please God. It’s a tangible way for us to express our love to Him. It is our acknowledgement that He is first in our hearts, making it an act of worship. Giving is a privilege that we miss until we actually engage in it. But don’t try to convince your husband of this; pray and ask the Lord to do the conviction and bring you together.

What about debt?

Since I don’t have a clear picture of your financial situation, I don’t want to assume that you can begin immediately giving to your church without careful planning. However, discuss with your husband what you might miss by waiting to get out of debt. Consider the missed opportunity of trusting God and seeing how He provides. By delaying the habit of giving regularly, you are missing out on the joy it brings. Plus, I have seen many times that when couples prioritize giving, it actually serves to help them reduce their debt more quickly.

When you have obligations to pay, giving can be extraordinarily challenging. Remember how Jesus pointed out the widow who gave her two small copper coins in Mark 12? She gave all she had, believing God would meet her needs. Those two coins — small to the world but large to her — demonstrated her complete dependence on the one who loved her.

Many find it easy to skip giving to God first. They choose to give what is left over after their own needs and desires have been met. I know I did. Even though debt must be paid, consider how you can cut spending elsewhere in order to give something to the Lord. Don’t do it reluctantly or under compulsion but unite with your spouse and follow God. “God loves a cheerful giver” (2 Corinthians 9:7).

Consider giving an amount you know you can handle at first. It is ok to start small. The repeated action will establish the habit. By setting it aside ($1, $5, $10…), you will not spend it. Acknowledge the Lord while you are paying off your debts.

Trust Him to unite your hearts

God sees and knows our struggles. He promises to meet our needs, but we have the responsibility of following His principles. I often hear from people who began taking steps of faith and giving first. God honored them, and somehow, someway, their debt was reduced in record time. Ask Him to help you live as a steward of all He provides. Ask Him to unite you and your spouse, so together you can find joy in managing things His way. Here are some great resources to help you: 

If you’re burdened with credit card debt, consider reaching out to Christian Credit Counselors, a trusted partner of Crown. They are a valuable resource to help consolidate debt and get on the road to financial freedom so that you can become a more generous giver.