PARISHIONERS have a right of burial in the churchyard, but they do not have a right to have a gravestone or monument erected. Strictly speaking, a faculty from the consistory court is required; but it is generally recognised that, if the incumbent’s permission is obtained, that is sufficient. Any person who is aggrieved by the incumbent’s refusal to permit specific details on a monument may apply to the consistory court for a faculty.
A burial in a cemetery is not subject to the restrictions that apply in a churchyard. But people may prefer a churchyard where, for many centuries, parishioners have been buried. Churchyards are usually well tended, and bereaved families who visit the graves of loved ones find comfort and solace in the vicinity of the church itself.
Families are often unaware, however, that, when they inter the remains of a loved one in a churchyard, they do not “own” the grave, and must comply with the churchyard regulations governing the size and type of memorial stone that they can install, and what they are permitted to inscribe on it.
Clergy point out that they are themselves ignorant about churchyard regulations, because ordination training does not extend to churchyard issues. As one incumbent said, he had to “learn from experience and the wisdom of a very approachable and considerate archdeacon”. Sometimes, stonemasons are more knowledgeable than the clergy about monuments in churchyards, and can be helpful to both clergy and the bereaved families.
GENERALLY, memorial stones or headstones contain the names of the deceased, their dates of birth and death, followed by words of comfort for the bereaved, a quotation from the scriptures, and a cross, or some other symbol associated with Christianity — for example, a dove or an angel. Problems arise when bereaved families want to deviate from these traditional inscriptions and to pour their grief into expressions or images on the headstone which are not permitted by the regulations.
This most commonly happens in the case of a young child, or a death in particularly tragic circumstances. Grieving parents often wish to include images associated with children, such as balloons, teddy bears, giraffes, rainbows, footballs, or club logos, which the child might have enjoyed, during a short life. In those circumstances, the parish and the incumbent have the unenviable task of informing the family, at a highly emotional time, that they cannot have these on the headstone; and, if they have already installed them without permission, that they must be removed.
The family can petition the consistory court of the diocese, asking the diocesan chancellor to issue a faculty permitting an installation which is outside the regulations. Chancellors are moved by, and sympathetic towards, bereaved families, and do make concessions in exceptional cases; but they are mindful of not wanting to create precedents which may lead to a multiplicity of violations of the regulations.
Families tend to point to other installations in the churchyard where the regulations have been breached but the breaches have been disregarded, or have gone unnoticed by the incumbent at the time and have therefore remained in the churchyard. Chancellors are quick to reject those violations as precedents, however, and point out that two wrongs do not make a right.
Problems also arise in relation to the use of colours on a headstone. In many churchyards, only black, white, gold, and silver are permitted; parents often want pink or blue on a child’s headstone. But the question of colour also arises in regard to the gravestones of adults. In one case, a widow wanted a red poppy with green foliage included on her husband’s memorial, to reflect the fact that he had been a member of the British Legion, and active in the sale of poppies. As a compromise, the chancellor allowed the red but not the green.
PASTORAL considerations also apply in the cases of some petitions for a faculty to operate outside the churchyard regulations. These often arise in regard to minority groups. Some of these cases involve the Travelling Community, which favours elaborate memorials with designs that are not within the regulations, and are different from those normally found in the churchyard. Parishes often object to them.
In one such case, the chancellor observed that the “mere fact that the memorial is different to the norm did not make it harmful or objectionable”, and, although the memorial was more elaborate than many of the others in the churchyard, he disagreed with the PCC’s use of the word “ostentatious”.
As for pastoral issues, the chancellor pointed out that the grave bore a special cultural and religious significance to Travellers, since it was regarded as the only permanent “home” to a nomadic culture. It was also pointed out that Travellers had faced centuries of persecution and discrimination, in some instances from the Church. But, in general, Travellers retained more trust in the Church than in other institutions. In that context, the chancellor felt that it was “incumbent upon the church to make space” and “appropriate allowances” for Travellers.
A diocesan chancellor therefore has power, which incumbents may not have, to allow a deviation from the churchyard regulations.
ISSUES have also arisen in regard to certain symbols on a memorial stone, and these have sometimes resulted in differences of opinion between chancellors in different dioceses. Only symbols associated with Christianity are permitted in a churchyard.
A Star of David had been requested on a memorial stone where the deceased, although a Christian, had a Jewish heritage that his family wanted reflected. In one diocese, the chancellor refused to permit it on the ground that a Star of David was indicative of Judaism, and was not a Christian symbol. In another diocese where the same request was made, the chancellor ruled that a Star of David was acceptable, because Jesus was repeatedly recognised as the Son of David, and was introduced as such in the very first verse of the first chapter of the first Gospel of the New Testament.
Human grief at the death of a loved one is natural, and has been recognised since time immemorial. Jesus wept at the death of Lazarus. Clergy have a pastoral duty to comfort the bereaved, and at the same time to preserve the timeless beauty of English churchyards. It might assist if a way could be found — preferably at the time of the burial rather than later when discussing a memorial stone — to avoid any additional trauma to grieving families caused by ignorance of the churchyard regulations.
Shiranikha Herbert is the Church Times’s legal correspondent.
Most dioceses have their own churchyard regulations, rules, or guidance. In general, these contain certain provisions:
- Headstones must not exceed three feet in height, and must be of a simple shape.
- Stone slabs designed to lie flat over the grave must be flush with the grass so that a mower can pass over them.
- Small crosses must not exceed four feet in height. Crosses carved on the faces of the headstones are preferable.
- All memorials must be of natural stone, quarried in Great Britain, or of English oak. Various types of granite, white marble, and mirror reflection are prohibited.
- Kerbs or railings enclosing grave spaces are not permitted except by special permission of the Chancellor.
- Pictures and photographs are prohibited.
- Minimum distances from the church wall might apply.
