Dear Chuck,
By the end of the week, my wife and I are exhausted. We have two children under the age of 10. We both have good jobs and work hard, but we barely get by. We’re tired by Friday but seem to have no time to rest, even on the weekends. How would you advise young families stuck in a hamster wheel of activity?
Exhausted Parents
Dear Exhausted Parents,
Modern society has laid claim to 100% of our time. So many Americans are trapped in the cycle of never-ending fatigue: work all week, stay continuously plugged in to our jobs and friends via technology, keep an eye on social media, take the kids to their activities on Saturdays, knock out a few chores around the house in our spare time, fall into bed Sunday night, and start back again Monday morning.
This cycle, if not addressed, will lead to physical, psychological and emotional burnout. Add in financial stress, and the need for real rest of the mind and body is not just a nice idea — it is essential.
Created to rest
Our heavenly Father rested after He created the world and commanded it for our good.
“For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested on the seventh day. Therefore, the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy” (Exodus 20:11 ESV).
This is an invitation to God’s gift of rest and renewal from a week of worthwhile work. In slowing down, we can more clearly see His hand in the world around us. Resting is an act of faith.
The problem is that many of us don’t really know how to rest. Without it, our emotional well-being, physical health, performance and safety on the job will suffer. Rest, or the lack thereof, significantly impacts our financial well-being.
Many couples, like you, need a genuine time of restorative pause from the normal activities of life. We need to be unplugged from the constant motion and engagement of our minds and emotions.
What Is Sabbathing?
“Sabbathing” is being intentional in resting your mind, body and soul. We all need and benefit from time set aside to really rest. Aim to make Sundays truly special. If you must work on Sunday, then honor the Sabbath on another day.
These are perfect days to speak blessings over your spouse and children. Learn to enjoy preparing meals together, planning potlucks or picnics or having a dessert that you only eat that day. Play, read and worship together. Do whatever restores your soul, glorifies God and honors your neighbor.
Make rest and “Sabbathing” a priority in your family. It’s a holy time that will benefit you for life. I suggest reading these Scriptures: Deuteronomy 5:12–15; Isaiah 58:13–14; Mark 2:27; and Matthew 11:28-30.
Fatigue is dangerous
When tired, our emotional control is diminished. We become vulnerable to outbursts of anger, poor judgment and overspending. I have counseled people who incurred great debt to finance their annual “escape,” such as a cruise or visit to their favorite vacation spot. They arrive exhausted and, though temporarily recharged, come home to debt, more stress and more overwork. Other people overspend weekly by eating out, ordering food and buying entertainment as a means to try to relax. These activities are expensive and subtly deceptive.
Get practical
Stepping off the treadmill of life is required to rest well. If you prepare for it, you can step away guilt-free from the demands of your life.
- In anticipation of weekends, do what you can before they come to reduce the demands on your schedule.
- Block out technology. Take a break from notifications and social media. Disconnecting from the world allows you to give your full attention to the Lord and one another.
- Find what truly refreshes you and your spouse. Celebrate life together and acknowledge the goodness of God.
- Reduce the programs for the children to allow time for long walks in the woods, a picnic in the park or game nights at home.
- Take turns with friends or family to babysit so that you have time to yourselves for long conversations or recreation that is truly relaxing.
Rest impacts every area for the better
- Rest prepares us to work as unto the Lord.
- The brain functions better, and the body is better able to handle demands.
- Creativity, clarity, productivity and quality of work improve.
- Depression diminishes, sleep improves and souls are restored.
- Recharged and renewed, you are ready to tackle financial issues.
- Attentiveness to short- and long-term financial plans is enhanced.
- Biblical financial principles can be implemented when routine is reset.
- Goal achievement is enhanced, and burnout is prevented.
- Families are strengthened and gain a greater ability to persevere.
- Families more easily serve others and one another in love.
- Balance is restored when the rhythm of work and rest is reset.
- Overall physical, mental and spiritual health is boosted.
- Hope for financial margin is achieved.
If you are also experiencing financial stress, I suggest these resources:
A budget is one way to help you rest from financial stress while achieving your goals. Consider connecting with a Crown budget coach to develop a customized spending plan and debt-elimination strategy.
Chuck Bentley is CEO of Crown Financial Ministries, a global Christian ministry, founded by the late Larry Burkett. He is the host of a daily radio broadcast, My MoneyLife, featured on more than 1,000 Christian Music and Talk stations in the U.S., and author of his most recent book, Economic Evidence for God?. Be sure to follow Crown on Facebook.
