John C. “Chuck” Chalberg, is retired professor of history at Normandale Community College in Bloomington, Minnesota and the author of Rickey and Robinson: The Preacher, the Player, and America’s Game as well as Emma Goldman: American Individualist. He advises that he is of half-Scandinavian ancestry and has been a full-time Vikings fan for, well, for long enough. Putting the Vikings to their highest and best use in this lost season, he embeds his slightly irreverent political commentary — too irreverent for the Star Tribune, anyway — in the hypothetical search for a new team name. Having submitted this column to the Star Tribune a few weeks ago with no expression of interest from the editors since then, Professor Chalberg has let us intercept his pass to the Star Tribune. We are taking it to the house. Professor Chalberg writes:
Sixty-five years is enough! Six and a half decades of Minnesota Vikings futility and frustration is more than enough. All those years and not a single pre-Super Bowl NFL title, much less a Super Bowl victory, to show for it. And no such triumph seems to be looming in anything close to the near future. Yet another rebuild seems to be the offing instead.
Maybe it’s time to start over in more ways than one. The Minnesota Vikings? The Vikings moniker might have made sense when we were half a century closer to the Age of the Vikings, let alone closer to the state’s Scandinavian-related roots. But today? Let’s have a new campaign to arrive at a new nickname for the Minnesota pro sports franchise to which Minnesota sports fans remain the most attached and committed. And let me kick it off by offering a few suggestions.
First of all, we’ll keep the Minnesota half. It’s only the Vikings that need to go. But since the team’s home field has been in Minneapolis for the past four plus decades the new moniker should have something to do with the City of Lakes.
Of course, Lakers would be an obvious choice, but let’s not stir up ancient, meaning long as opposed to (Bob) Short, memories of a sold team and a stolen moniker. The Los Angeles Lakers? That makes about as much sense as, well, as the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Still, let’s stick with Minneapolis-related possibilities. Sorry, outstate Minnesotans. Yes, in a sense the team does belong to all of us. But it plays its games, when it’s home, in Minneapolis. So the new moniker ought to reflect its actual local location.
Come to think of it, the Minnesota Dodgers might be a possibility. There was a time when the Brooklyn Dodgers made perfect sense, given that their fans were often dodging trolleys en route to Ebbets Field. Who knows what football fans might have to dodge these days on their way to and from US Bank Stadium.
On a somewhat related note, how about the Minnesota Violence Interrupters? Or just the Interrupters for short. This season the team’s defense isn’t doing enough interrupting, but a moniker that reminds the team of the purpose of a defense might inspire greatness on the field when our Interrupters don’t have the ball.
The Minnesota Stoppers might be better, but that might be too much to ask. Besides, the city only seems to be interested in interrupting crime rather than out-and-out stopping it. But if the Interrupters have success, maybe they could eventually graduate to becoming the Stoppers.
If either option is too focused on just one side of the line of scrimmage, how about the Minnesota Organizers. After all, the city is run by a council filled with self-described community organizers. And football is a contest of organized violence–or at least semi-organized violence.
More than that, coaches are always whispering behind charts. No doubt they are organizational charts of some sort. In any case, no sport is more organized. No one knew that better than Houston Oiler coach Bum Phillips, who once complained that there were two kinds of football players who weren’t “worth a damn”: “Those who never did what you told them to do and those who only did what you told them to do.” So the Organizers it could be.
Too neutral, you say? What about the offense, you add? Wait a minute! We’ve yet to exhaust the defensive possibilities. The most obvious choice would be the Minnesota Defenders. But that wouldn’t quite cut it with our current city fathers and mothers. On the other hand, maybe the Minnesota Defunders would. And why not? After all, not only would that acknowledge an ongoing political demand, but a successful team that wins all the time could begin to decrease the sale value of its opponents.
OK, now let’s shift to the offense. While memories of the spring of 2020 are still somewhat fresh, the Minnesota Rioters or the Minnesota Arsonists might make the grade. Too incendiary, you say? Really? There are already pro teams named the Blaze, the Flame and the Raiders, not to mention the Heat.
With more recent Minneapolitan doings in mind, we could progress from the Minnesota Vikings to the Minnesota Pilferers. I know, that gets back to defense. But think about it. The new team symbol could be a sack. And sacks could refer to sacks of money or sacks of quarterbacks–or both at once.
Speaking of progress, why not the Minnesota Progressives? That’s at least got to be better than the Minnesota Moderates. Who could rally around moderation anyway? Well, something like that does seem to have happened in the recent city election. But progressives haven’t–and won’t–surrender. Nor would a team called the Minnesota Progressives.
Let’s not forget the current owners, the Wilf brothers, the New Jersey real estate guys. Maybe the Minnesota Developers would be acceptable to everybody. It should be. After all, this team always seems to be in one or another state of development. If the Vikes, oops, aren’t speculating about how this or that play might develop, they’re likely trying to develop a new quarterback.
Well, there you have it. At least it’s a start. In the meantime come up with your own suggestions. Then at some point let’s have a statewide contest. One way or another, let’s put the Vikings to rest. They had their day more than a millennium and a half ago. It was probably a mistake to try to revive them in the first place. Maybe it was even a blunder. Hmmm. . . the Minnesota Blunderers–or Plunderers. . . . Never mind!
