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Gold Star widow finds healing from ‘secret’ she kept for decades

Rachel Faulkner Brown, author of 'Widow's Might' and the founder of Never Alone Widows, a ministry she founded after the death of two of her husbands.
Rachel Faulkner Brown, author of “Widow’s Might” and the founder of Never Alone Widows, a ministry she founded after the death of two of her husbands. | Courtesy of Rachel Faulkner Brown

A Gold Star widow who has lost two husbands and overcome the weight of a secret she kept from them has launched a nationwide ministry that takes widows who’ve lost their husbands unexpectedly and are now left to raise families on their own from “desperation to destiny” through a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Rachel Faulkner Brown, who was raised with a strong faith in Jesus, struggled with loneliness and a loss of control after losing two husbands by the time she was 31.

In 2018, she took the first steps to launch Never Alone Widows, a ministry that allows her to use her experience with grief to help women who have suffered a similar loss find healing and grow closer to God.

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“I had a strong foundation of who Jesus was, but I didn’t know who I was,” Brown told The Christian Post. “At the end of the day, the wheels of my life were just falling off, and that illusion of control just disappeared.”

Her first husband and college sweetheart died from a brain aneurysm in 2001. The widow remarried a few years later to Alabama Air National Guard Maj. David Blair Faulkner, the father of her two children, who are now 17 and 19. Brown’s daughter was only 5 months old when Blair died in a T-38 crash in April 2008.

The crash occurred after Blair took off from Columbus Air Force Base, an event that also claimed the life of 2nd Lieutenant Matthew Emmons of Corry, Pennsylvania, a student pilot whom Brown’s husband was training. 

Finding herself a single mother of two, Brown was determined that her children would grow up to know Christ.

‘Crocus coming up out of a winter snow’

During this time, she felt tired and alone in her grief. But one day, in 2013, she received what she described as a prophetic word from God.

She remarried again to a pastor named Rod Brown when a friend invited her to a prayer meeting, where a woman prayed for her. The prayer filled Brown with the desire to “declare the goodness of God before the nations,” she recalled. 

“This woman didn’t know anything about me,” Brown remembered. “She had no idea about my story, and she said, ‘Your life has been so hard. You’re like a crocus coming up out of a winter snow.”

After hearing those words, Brown said that the ground beneath her shook, and she realized that the Lord saw her and understood her pain. Brown described the sensation as a “pat on the head from God,” which assured her that she would be fine after all. 

While she still needed to go through a healing process, which included at least two years of therapy, Brown started to feel as if she had something to offer others through her story.

During this period of allowing herself to experience God’s grace, the future ministry leader recognized the weight of a secret she had carried for years.

Brown revealed to CP that a distant family member had abused her starting from age 10 and continuing until she was 12, a burden she carried alone until she attended a Bible study at an Alabama-based church in the early 2010s. 

Letting go of her ‘secret’

The widowed mother said that her first two husbands died without ever learning about her secret, one that the Bible study helped her realize had slowly been killing her and impacting her marriages, as well as her parenting. 

During the Bible study, Brown said that she felt inspired to open up about the abuse she had endured after witnessing other attendees share their testimonies and receive grace through the “Blood of the Lamb.” 

The relief she felt upon confessing what had happened all those years ago ushered in “deeper levels of healing,” Brown stated.

“I’m widowed, and I have a ministry for widows, but the reason that I even have a ministry is because I let go of my secret,” Brown said. 

Brown’s journey to find healing and freedom through God’s grace impressed upon her the importance of community during times like these. Brown came to realize that she wanted to ensure women with stories like hers had the resources they needed to heal. 

In 2018, Never Alone Widows hosted its first gathering in Atlanta, Georgia.

The ministry grew from there and currently has 70 chapters in various cities, including locations in California and Maine. The organization supports widows through conferences and retreats, inviting women to find community with those who can understand their struggles. 

“It’s women who love God and want to heal with the power of Jesus Christ,” Brown said about the women participating in her ministry. 

The ministry’s yearly retreats, typically held in the Southeast United States, target young widows with school-age children. One retreat, named Widows of Heroes, is designed specifically for the needs of Gold Star and First Responder widows who face the untimely death of a spouse killed in service and is sponsored by the Gary Sinise Foundation. 

The organization holds a national conference each year, typically in February, for widows of all ages and stages of seeking healing and community. 

Never Alone Widows’ local chapters are facilitated by widows who have attended retreats and national conferences. 

The charity also offers online resources, such as a devotional and three volumes of a course titled “How to Widow Well” that seeks to help widows “navigate their grief journey.”

The ministry aims to become “the largest Christian widows ministry in the country” and constantly look for “new ways to take widows from desperation to destiny through the healing power of Jesus Christ.”

Samantha Kamman is a reporter for The Christian Post. She can be reached at: samantha.kamman@christianpost.com. Follow her on Twitter: @Samantha_Kamman



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