Have a go at our next caption competition (above). Send entries by email only to captioncompetition@churchtimes.co.uk by 9 a.m., Monday 2 June.
We invite readers’ ideas for photos: please provide a credit and confirm that those pictured are happy for the photo to be used.
Here are the winning entries for the previous competition:
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The precentor was incensed that the servers had to cope with people barging in front of them in the procession (Tim Goodbody)
Lock, smock, and two smoking censers (Philip Lickley)
A SELECTION of entries for this week’s competition:
“Jesus walked on water. We can’t even find the mooring” (Jonathan Cuncliffe); “I asked you to fetch the communion vessels” (Tony Ball); “It would have been quicker by train” (Patrick Irwin); “You’re sure this is the way to the chancel?” (Paul Vincent); “Ah, incense: DEFRA’s latest odour-pollution solution” (John Saxbee); “The Bishop had promised to run the diocese as a tight ship, and the diocesan office felt this trip might serve as a suitable symbol” (Richard Hough); “The Dean prepared to use his sprinkler as the Barge of Belief approached the Sea of Faith” (Peter Paine); “Running a tight ship through calm waters was clearly a diocesan priority” (Jacky Tivers); “And you are sure this is the quickest way to get to Lourdes?” (Paul Strange).
“They said follow in Jesus’s footsteps; so the vicar got a boat, some wine, and waved from the canal” (Scott Humm); “Narrow boats are the way, but few there be that find them” (John Appleby); “So when the Oxford boat comes past, we nose forward, pray like mad, and use the holy water. A slim chance, but it’s probably their only hope” (Martin Kettle); “For health and safety reasons, walking on the water is not permitted” (Penelope Vinson); “They were promised a parish outing like no other — and that’s what they got” (Valerie Budd); “I can steer with one hand behind my back — but you lot have to decide if we’re heading for the Angel, or end up in the Bush!” (Julian Ashton).
“On their away day, the Crown Nomination Commission gained valuable experience navigating strong currents and submerged obstructions” (Jo Mash); “Are you sure this is the way to the church?” (Andrea Dimmick); “Pensioners give thanks for the Triple Lock” (Michael Doe); “This wasn’t the kind of lock-in that the Vicar had been anticipating” (Chris Coupe); “The next hymn is ‘Shall we gather on the river’” (Alison Williams); “The Vicar blessed the fleet, but stopped short of parting the canal” (Tammy Tudor); “England’s version of the Nile cruise is almost as biblical” (Chaz Griffiths); “Well, parting the water didn’t work; so someone had better get off and try working the lock!” (James Newman); “Accommodating a broad church on a narrow boat was a challenge” (Derek Wellman); “Fr Andrew was suddenly very apprehensive about his deluxe life-vest as they approached the lock” (Thomas Popham); “The singing of ‘For those in peril on the sea’ seemed somewhat pessimistic for this particular occasion” (Michael Foster).
As ever, the winner receives a prize of Fairtrade chocolate, courtesy of Divine Chocolate.
