How can I be generous? I feel I’m too selfish

Dear Chuck,

I know that Christ commands us to give, but I am struggling to justify it while trying to provide my family with all they want. I feel that the world is selfish, and I am stuck in it.

Stuck in a Selfish World

Dear Stuck in a Selfish World,

Thank you for your honesty. In many ways, we are all stuck in a selfish world, but we do not have to conform to it.

Many sincere Christians struggle with giving because the “wants” in our lives always eat away at the money we could give. As a result, we may think we can’t afford to give.

We are all generous

I like to say it this way: we are all generous. The question is, will we be generous only toward ourselves or toward God and others? You see, when our “wants” are in control of our spending, we tend to be perpetually stuck in generously spending on ourselves.

Giving overcomes the control that the world has on our lives and demonstrates the degree of our love for Christ. Fear overrules if we become too earthly-minded. God wants us to trust Him and to depend on His provision, even — and perhaps especially — if it defies logic. He can provide in ways beyond our comprehension, causing us to respond in gratitude, knowing He sees the sacrifices we make. Consider this promise to those willing to overcome the desire to spend everything we have on ourselves:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work. As it is written, “He has distributed freely, he has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever.” He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness (2 Corinthians 9:8–10 ESV).

God promises to repay us

God does not promise to make us rich on earth like the false prosperity gospel teaches. Sometimes, He does reward us financially. Other times, He refreshes us spiritually or emotionally. He also gives in ways we do not immediately recognize, for example:

• Have certain expenses decreased or disappeared altogether?
• Are your appliances working beyond their average lifespan?
• Is your car lasting longer than expected? Tires?
• Are your shoes, clothing, and accessories still in good shape?
• How about your roof, HVAC, or food in your pantry or freezer?
• Have hand-me-downs or school supplies been provided for the children?
• How about your health?
• Have friends helped with babysitting, food, carpooling, repairs, and more?

Proper motivations to give

Biblical generosity is not a tax or law but rather a principle that God says is good for us. We must give with a proper heart attitude. Here are some key concepts and verses to guide you:

How to give

Some Rewards of Giving

Give better

Since God owns everything, ask yourself, “How much of God’s money should I spend on myself?” instead of, “How much of my money should I give to God?” This will transform your attitude and help you take giving seriously. 

Check your spending. Are there areas where you can cut back—things you don’t really need? Constantly giving in to wants robs us (and our children) of learning to be content. It ruins the joy of occasional splurges, and luxuries can become expectations. Our flesh is never fully satisfied, so we must take control. Read and meditate on Psalm 112.

Getting unstuck in a selfish world

How we manage money, according to the Bible, will impact eternal rewards, which will not compare to earthly comforts. Take hold of that which is truly life by wisely stewarding whatever God entrusts to you. It helps to develop a lifestyle of giving more than just money. You can be generous with words of encouragement, spiritual gifts, time, talents, possessions, wisdom, and experience. One day, each of us will stand before the Lord to give an account. Generosity is for our good but, more importantly, for His glory!

As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life (1 Timothy 6:17–19 ESV).

Here are some extra resources if you want to read more:

If credit card debt is holding you back from being generous, consider reaching out to Christian Credit Counselors. They are a trusted partner of Crown and a valuable resource to help you get on the road to financial freedom.