How to have great weddings without breaking the bank

Dear Chuck,

My fiancé and I hope to marry in November. Our parents are not in a position to help financially. I’ve felt anger and sorrow about that, but I want to have a great wedding without spending lots of money. Haven’t you written about ways to save money on weddings?

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Wedding Without Financial Stress

Dear Wedding Without Financial Stress,

No need to be worried or upset about your family’s inability to help you pay for a wedding. In fact, you can view it as a blessing.

My wife and I were married long before cell phones, Instagram, and Pinterest. We had a simple wedding and honeymoon, and our first apartment was furnished with used furniture. We didn’t care! We weren’t comparing ourselves to others. We were happy with what we had and stayed busy working and going to school.

Weddings can get expensive

It’s a different world today! According to The Knot Real Weddings Study, 53% of couples spent more on getting married than they planned, by an average of $7,347. Since the average cost is around $33,000, going over-budget would bump that figure to $40,000!

Weddings have become a big business. Social media has created desires and expectations for everything — from engagement rings to the wedding cake and everything in between. Brides are influenced by Pinterest and Instagram, magazines, blogs, apps, and Google searches. Young girls imagine, dream, and plan their weddings. They carry those dreams into adulthood without asking God for wisdom or seeking the advice of those older and wiser. 

Suppose the wedding and reception last four hours. That means the average couple spends $10,000 an hour for the event. Granted, that’s not a worry for some people, but for others, it’s a LOT of money! Some (usually parents) recognize that money could be used for the down payment on a house, a newer car, career/skill training, or starting a business.

Keep it in perspective

Your wedding is a significant moment in time, but it is just one day in your life. Once married, you will share many days together, Lord willing. While barns, beaches, and destination weddings make great social media posts, there is beauty in church weddings, where couples are celebrated by the congregation in a setting conducive to worship. Some churches have fellowship halls for a reception, an outdoor pavilion, or space to set up a tent. I’ve officiated a home wedding and one in a park. Both were beautiful, and the couples were spared great expense. Receptions held in venues not typically used for weddings can also be less expensive. Just make sure you understand the rules for catering and read the contract in its entirety before signing.

Focus on the marriage, not just the wedding

My advice is to renew your heart and mind with an eternal perspective of your wedding day. Choose simplicity over stress and financial margin over debt. It’s a matter of stepping back in order to think realistically. Spend focused time in prayer, make peace with what you can afford, give thanks for your future husband, and ask the Lord to be at the center of all your plans. Aim to make your ceremony a time to worship Him as you dedicate your lives to one another.

Do

• Pray fervently alone and as a couple, seeking wisdom, provision, and joy in the journey.
• Plan to give God the glory.
• Ask a wise, older friend (or couple) to encourage and guide you.
• Set a budget, and prioritize what’s important.
• Recruit a friend who will honor your budget to be your planner.
• Seek wise marriage counseling that prepares you to think beyond the wedding day.
• Get biblical financial training; set financial goals, and make plans to achieve them.

Don’t

• Compare or covet other people’s weddings. Instead, rejoice with them!
• Stress. Instead, give thanks, and accept help from others.
• Stretch the budget. Instead, find ways to save strategically.

Money saving tips

• Your dress: borrow, rent, buy used, or shop sales; a simple white dress can work.
• Make your own veil.
• Flowers: look at Costco, Wal-Mart, Trader Joe’s, and big box stores’ end of end-of-season ferns and plants.
• Food: consider a brunch, a dessert buffet, or a picnic theme.
• Friends: recruit them for make-up, hair, flower arranging, food, cake, photography, music, etc.
• Music: make your own playlist; ask friends who may contribute their talents.
• Décor: shop Facebook marketplace; borrow china and serving pieces, etc.
• Shop sales for invitations, thank you cards, and gifts for the wedding party.
• Include the cost of postage, a marriage license, and last-minute expenses.

Begin your marriage using money wisely. It is crucial for your future financial success. I highly recommend that couples go through our Money Dates or Money Life Personal Finance Study. These will help you set your course, enabling you to align goals and have a plan to achieve them from day one.

I hope more churches will encourage ceremonies to be held on their property. Forming a committee to encourage and support church weddings at lower costs would be a blessing. If you have not asked your church about this, possibly send them this article.

More information

If you’re entering marriage with credit card debt, consider reaching out to Christian Credit Counselors, a trusted partner of Crown. They are a valuable resource to help consolidate debt and get on the road to financial freedom.