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‘I hated my guts’: Women explain how abortion drove them to depression, suicidal thoughts


(LifeSiteNews) — A ten-day trial that ended in Kansas City, Missouri, on Monday revealed the horrifying cost of abortion. Witness after witness came forward to testify to the impact of abortion on their lives.

The trial was a standoff between Planned Parenthood, America’s largest abortion cartel, and the Missouri Attorney Generals’ Office. Abortion is legal in Missouri, but Planned Parenthood is challenging the many restrictions and regulations that limit access to abortion, which they claim are unconstitutional under Missouri’s voter-approved Amendment 3, which created a “right to abortion” in 2024.

READ: Tens of thousands stand for the unborn at Walk for Life West Coast in San Francisco

“The outcome of this case will determine the future of abortion access in Missouri,” reported the Missouri Independent. “In the months ahead, Jackson County Judge Jerri Zhang will decide with restrictions survive – and which vanish.” Planned Parenthood claims that the restrictions were designed to ensure that abortion is “regulated out of existence,” while Assistant Solicitor General Alexandria Overcash stated that they are “basic, common-sense requirements” for the protection of women.

Planned Parenthood claimed that Missouri’s abortion regulations “have prevented tens of thousands of Missouri women over the past several years from accessing abortion without crossing state lines” and has “crippled Planned Parenthood’s ability to perform abortions,” and is asking the court to strike down all restrictions.

Four women who had undergone abortions were called by the state to testify about their experience and highlight the harm abortion causes; all four explained, in emotional terms, why they regretted their abortions. “The four described impersonal visits and overcrowded dark rooms with heavy, sad atmospheres where women were often crying,” the Missouri Independent reported. The testimonies contradicted Planned Parenthood’s claims that abortion is merely another form of basic healthcare.

“The abortionist came in from a side door,” testified Stephanie Jacobson, describing her first abortion in 1978, when she was 16 years old. “It was very excruciating. I must have been squirming, because they kept saying, ‘Lay still.’” Jacobsen, who now has five children, had a second abortion in 1982, after which she had a miscarriage that she believes was because of the abortions. According to the Missouri Independent:

But until about nine years ago, when Jacobson said she completed an abortion recovery counseling program, she said she was depressed, angry and had thoughts of harming herself because of the choice she’d made.

The requirement that Missouri’s 26-page informed consent booklet be given to every woman seeking an abortion is one of the challenged laws in the case. While it does mention that a provider must inform the patient of “possible adverse psychological effects associated with the abortion,” it does not go into any further detail about those effects or provide any basis for the statement.

Marilyn Cox, had an abortion in 1980 while going through a divorce for financial reasons and over fear of facing her father. Cox stated that Planned Parenthood did not tell her what her pre-born child looked like in the womb at eight weeks and testified that she would not have had an abortion if she had known or seen her child on an ultrasound. She sank into a deep depression, attempting suicide twice. “I hated my guts,” she told the court.

A third, Linda Raymond, said her abortion caused her “depression, anxiety, nightmares and flashbacks,” for which she still takes antidepressants. Crystal Lane, who had an abortion in 2009, also says she was not told what abortion would do to her. “No one at the [Planned Parenthood] clinic coerced me, but I wasn’t told how it would affect me,” she said. After the abortion, she became addicted to methamphetamine for a time before she found healing post-abortion counseling to deal with the trauma.

She now has a tattoo with her aborted baby’s name, Starling.

READ: Young Americans are becoming more pro-life: Gallup poll

Other witnesses also testified against Planned Parenthood. Ohio nurse practitioner Maureen Curley stated that after counseling post-abortive patients for years, she has concluded that giving birth is “psychologically safer.” Dr. Andrew Steele of St. Louis testified that he has seen multiple cases of abortion complications in his practice. Dr. Priscilla Coleman, a retired professor of human development and family studies, testified to the increased risk of mental health problems after abortion.

Currently, a temporary court injunction has blocked most of Missouri’s abortion restrictions, and Planned Parenthood clinics in St. Louis, Kansas City, and Columbia are offering abortions. The ruling in this case will determine whether Missouri, which has already adopted abortion as a “right,” becomes a feticide free-for-all.


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Jonathon’s writings have been translated into more than six languages and in addition to LifeSiteNews, has been published in the National Post, National Review, First Things, The Federalist, The American Conservative, The Stream, the Jewish Independent, the Hamilton Spectator, Reformed Perspective Magazine, and LifeNews, among others. He is a contributing editor to The European Conservative.

His insights have been featured on CTV, Global News, and the CBC, as well as over twenty radio stations. He regularly speaks on a variety of social issues at universities, high schools, churches, and other functions in Canada, the United States, and Europe.

He is the author of The Culture War, Seeing is Believing: Why Our Culture Must Face the Victims of Abortion, Patriots: The Untold Story of Ireland’s Pro-Life Movement, Prairie Lion: The Life and Times of Ted Byfield, and co-author of A Guide to Discussing Assisted Suicide with Blaise Alleyne.

Jonathon serves as the communications director for the Canadian Centre for Bio-Ethical Reform.


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