Otto von Bismarck is generally credited with the old saying, “Any who wish to retain any respect for either laws or sausages, should watch neither being made.” We can only presume that von Bismarck, being German, knew of whence he spoke, at least where the sausages were concerned.
The people of Shrewsbury, Pennsylvania, though, got a great lesson in the making of sausages on Friday, as they had a good look for themselves at the interiors of a literal truckload of hot dogs that spilled all over Interstate 83.
I guess now they’re hurt dogs.
A truckload of hot dogs spilled across a Pennsylvania interstate Friday after a crash that briefly clogged the heavily traveled artery in both directions.
Crews were stuck with a job they did not relish — rolling up the scattered tube steaks for disposal.
“Once those leave the truck and hit the road, that’s all garbage, and it’s still pretty warm,” Shrewsbury Fire Company Chief Brad Dauberman said.
State police said the tractor trailer had an unspecified mechanical problem on Interstate 83 a few miles north of the Maryland line as morning rush hour was wrapping up, causing it to push into a passenger vehicle. When the truck scraped along a concrete divider, its trailer was ripped open and the contents scattered.
Since the truck’s problem seems to have been a mechanical malfunction, the driver won’t be charged with a mis-dewiener for losing control. Four people did suffer minor injuries, none serious. Frankly, as these kinds of things go, that’s not bad.
It couldn’t have helped matters that this happened in Pennsylvania in August, when the weather is typically warm and humid. Your standard-issue hot dog could grow rather swiftly foul on the roadway under such circumstances, whereas if the mishap had occurred in, say, January, the spillage would have very quickly become chilly dogs. Either way, the crews assigned to clean up the mess evidently didn’t relish the task, as the AP wrote in the story linked above.
A front-end loader was used to scoop up the hot dogs and drop them into a dump truck.
Dauberman said emergency crews couldn’t help but see the humor in the situation, and his daughter texted him a photo of a hot dog-themed T-shirt.
“I can tell you personally, hot dogs are very slippery,” the fire chief said. “I did not know that.”
I actually did know that hot dogs were slippery, for reasons that I will politely refrain from explaining here; suffice it to say that I was in a bit of a pickle.
One can only imagine how the local crows, raccoons, and opossums took to this bounty. A quick glance at the photos accompanying this story is revealing:
Hot dog spill shuts down highway in Pennsylvania commuters’ wurst nightmare https://t.co/SO9niLHpYZ pic.twitter.com/OxsreozRnE
— Orlando Sentinel (@orlandosentinel) August 1, 2025
While most of the dogs are splattered on the roadway, it seems certain that quite a few dogs got catapulted into the ditches, and to scavengers feathered or furred, a hot dog is pure meat candy: No hide to pull open, no fur to get in the way, no bones, just a soft, chewy, easily digested protein-stick. That’s doggone good.
Read More: On Your Mark! Watch the Wondrous Wienie 500.
Best of Times, Wurst of Times: Cheating Scandal Rocks Nathan’s Competitive Hot Dog Eating Contest
The local humans, on the other hand, may end up holding their noses as they drive past this spot, at least until a good rainstorm or two has passed by.
And it could have been wurst. It could have been bananas.
I’ll be here all week. Try the veal, and don’t forget to tip your server.
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