I’ve made many money mistakes; feel like failure

Dear Chuck,

I have made so many mistakes with money. We are not struggling from month to month, but I constantly feel like a financial failure. My wife thinks I need God’s help.

Feeling Like a Financial Failure

Dear Feeling Like a Financial Failure,

I can identify! I have made just about every mistake that can be made with money, so I have lots of compassion for those who are struggling. Men, in particular, tend to place their identity in their work or finances.

The important shift is to learn from failure and grow from it instead of allowing Satan to constantly remind you of what happened in the past.

In my life, turning to God for help changed everything. I realized that this is not my home and that my goal of storing up treasures on earth was foolish.

Think about the night Jesus was betrayed. In Luke 22:31–34 (NIV), Jesus told Simon Peter, “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

But he replied, “Lord, I’m ready to go with you to prison and to death.” 

Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

Peter’s redemption from failure

Peter’s denial is an important reminder in the midst of financial failure. Pride, fear, uncertainty, and doubt can lead us to act in ways contrary to our faith. Rather than isolate ourselves, like Peter in the courtyard, we need the strength and prayers of our Christian community. We need the counsel of wise stewards. If married, we need to seek and consider the advice of our spouse. They tend to know our strengths and weaknesses, so God often uses them for our protection.

Peter’s overconfidence prevented him from taking Jesus’s warning seriously. We, too, can neglect the financial principles given in Scripture by overconfidently trusting our own judgment or abilities. We often prioritize what the world says over the Word of God. Peter’s denial was rooted in the fear of his own life. Likewise, fearing the loss of money, business, or social status can lead us to act in ways that we’ll later regret. However, it was Peter who overcame the shame of his denials and went on to make a world-changing impact for God’s Kingdom and glory.

Don’t hang on to your mistakes

Hanging on to past mistakes, becoming overconfident, or trying to prove ourselves can lead to impulsive financial decisions and unwise choices. Expect the rooster to crow if we fail to pray, depend on God, or seek wise counsel.

Mistakes are painful. Thankfully, God can redeem them.

Remember that He’s always there, working in ways we cannot see. We must admit our failure, take responsibility, and then take proper steps to rebuild trust within our family, our business, and our community. Most importantly, when we confess our sin and turn to the Lord with a heart ready to obey Him at all costs, our relationship with Him is restored.

Ask the Lord to redeem what you have lost. His power can lead to unexpected blessings in all areas of life, including finances. It may not come in the form of dollars but in peace of mind or restored relationships. Humbly apologize and seek forgiveness from those you have unintentionally hurt. Do so without expectation. Then trust in the Lord to work as only He can.

Pray for spiritual strength, as Paul did for the Ephesians (3:14–20 ESV):

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith — that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”

The Lord will guide you, restore you, and show you His faithfulness as you steward whatever He provides.

Crown has many resources to help you and your wife get united in the way you manage your finances. The Family & Finance section on the website has several free tools available, including a study guide that you and your wife can do together.