WHAT is the best religious sound-bite ever designed? One contender must surely be that simple slogan “Love your neighbour as yourself,” which first appears in Leviticus 19.18 and is then reinforced by Jesus. Unfortunately, it is regularly ignored, and it can often seem that, despite the many technological advances that we have made, we have not learnt to progress in terms of social relationships.
Not only are there fiery arguments over a wide variety of issues in both general society and religious life, but they seem to be getting worse, thanks to social media, in which limited regulatory supervision allows disagreement to take on a hostile and inflammatory character. What can be done to reverse this dispiriting trend?
Daniel Taub believes that he has an answer. The former peace negotiator and diplomat — who played a key part in Israeli-Palestinian peace talks in previous decades — urges us to rediscover what he calls “the Jewish art of constructive disagreement”.
It is based on the rabbinic discussions in the first to fifth centuries, which were recorded in the Talmud. The rabbis disagreed over more or less every subject that they discussed — from the details of sabbath observance to the minutiae of conjugal relations. But they always held three principles: first, that all opinions were valid, even if the rabbis had to come down on one side in a final policy decision; second, that challenging an accepted position was welcome, as it either improved its strength or showed its weakness, and so the result was beneficial; and, third, that minority opinions should be listed, as they might one day become majority ones.
It means that someone who disagrees with you is not seen as an opponent, but as a partner who can help you to reach the best outcome. Underlying this is a mindset change: to see the best motives in those who raise objections, with controversy being “for the sake of heaven”.
Taub skilfully uses both his religious knowledge and his diplomatic experience to apply these approaches to today, along with practical suggestions, including the simple exercise of summarising the other person’s argument, so that you see it from their point of view, which might alter yours as a result.
Will they work? The many techniques that he suggests will certainly be helpful to those who deal with the complexities of congregational life, and the book is immensely readable and engaging. But that slogan from Leviticus will still need preaching strongly.
Rabbi Dr Jonathan Romain is Convener of the Rabbinic Court of Great Britain.
Beyond Dispute: Rediscovering the Jewish art of constructive disagreement
Daniel Taub
Hodder & Stoughton £25
(978-1-3998-1506-2)
Church Times Bookshop £22.50
