I’m not one to tell Santa his business, but I hope The Other Big Guy has left some room on his Naughty List for certain folks in the political world. I’m talking politicos seriously deserving of lumps of coal.
And not that “beautiful, clean coal” of ours that President Donald Trump keeps hyping. I’m talking the kind of dirty coal that created the Great Smog of London; heavy chunks that sag Christmas stockings like Nancy Pelosi’s face when someone calls her out about J6.
Rep. Bennie Thompson: The ‘Unfortunate Accident’
Putting the “miss” in Mississippi congressman, Rep. Bennie Thompson earned the season’s Ilhan Oman “Some People Did Something” Award for his comments last week about the brutal, vicious, premeditated, murderous attack on two young National Guardsmen on Thanksgiving Day.
While grilling Homeland Secretary Kristi Noem, Thompson actually described the cold-blooded murder as an “unfortunate accident.” Noem was rightly apoplectic. “You think this was an unfortunate accident? It was a terrorist attack! They shot our Guardsmen in the head!”
For the record, puppies have unfortunate accidents. Not Islamist terrorists yelling “Allah akbar.”
To make matters worse, Thompson’s response was not to apologize, but to whine like a 5-year-old who can’t see Santa that Noem wasn’t answering his question.
Tim Walz: Blame Whitey
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz is a gift that keeps giving.
Yes, it’s easy to mock Mr. Jazz Hands, like when he boasted again last week about his intimidating masculinity while on a podcast with California Gov. Gavin Newsom. For the record, governor, you make Hermey the Elf look like Det. John McLain. And together, you and Newsom are like Thelma & Louise … except it’s your states that you’re driving over a cliff.
But I digress.
When Walz was asked if the Somalis who pulled off one of the biggest frauds in American history right under his nose will be held accountable, Walz channeled his inner Joy Reid and attacked white men.
“Look, it’s not law-abiding citizens. If that were the case, there’s a lot of white men should be holding a lot of white men accountable for the crimes that they have committed,” Walz said.
Then after a bit about communities and victims within the communities of the fraud—though not a word about the real victims of the fraud, the American taxpayers—he returned to his Caucasian excoriation.
“So, I think it’s asking us then, you know, for every crime, which of course, the majority being committed by white men, asking us to do more about that.”
Chuck Schumer: 15 Jews Slaughtered, But in Our Top Story, the Bills Won!
When you’re the senator from New York and your state’s other two NFL teams are the Giants and the Jets, one can understand a little misplaced enthusiasm for the Bills.
Still, Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer deserves to be forced to watch Josh Allen commercials on a 24-hour loop for his comments this week.
In the wake of the horrific Hanukkah massacre on Bondi Beach in Australia, Schumer showed all the sensitivity of a quarterback sack.
“I’m going to say a few words about the terrible shooting in Sydney, Australia. First, of course, as I always say, no matter what: Go Bills! They beat the Patriots. It’s a big deal.”
Really? Millionaires running around jumping on each other for three hours until a whistle blows with one group victorious is a big deal when compared to the global problem of antisemitic terrorism?
Sorry, Chuck. I think you’re a few candles short of a menorah on this one.
Impeachments Fill the Capitol Like a Mug of Hot Cocoa
Democrats currently are pushing impeachments the way Kohl’s Mom is pushing clothing apparel.
Last week alone:
Rep. Shri Thanedar, D-Mich., filed two articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Pete Hegseth. One for “Murder and Conspiracy to Murder” in connection to the debunked charge of ordering a second strike on hapless, helpless, lovable, adorable, cuter-than-an-Elf-on-a-Shelf survivors of a strike on a narco-terrorist boat.
Rep. Haley Stevens, D-Mich., filed articles of impeachment against Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr., citing “health care chaos.” She’d have a better case for impeaching RFK for wearing blue jeans while rock climbing … or for having lethal abs.
Rep. Delia Ramirez, D-Ill., is pushing for impeachment hearings for Noem, according to Axios. Noem’s “high crime and misdemeanor”? She’s in charge of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, which, by definition, makes her more evil than keeping gingerbread cookies locked in a glass container.
And, of course, Democrats are again trying to impeach Trump. Rep. Al Green, R-Texas, has filed impeachment articles against the president yet again. Green runs to impeachment as often as TBS runs “A Christmas Story.”
The TDS seems worse by the hour. If I could get Democrats a Christmas gift, it’d be a ticket to Ireland and a joint counseling session with Rosie O’Donnell’s shrink.
And for you, my Christmas wish is simple: May each and every one of you find someone to love you half as much as Democrats love impeachments, narco-terrorists and human traffickers.
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