Focus on the Family recently posted on social media a clumsily worded post that, while honorable in its desire to communicate truth in love regarding homosexuality and salvation, sent something of a muddled message. The article was removed and a correction was made following widespread criticism, including from publications like Not the Bee.
Such criticism was warranted as it reeked of a slide into insidious Side B “gay Christianity” doctrines. Yet Focus responded well, replacing the article with a solid and faithful essay written in 2013 by Jeff Johnston. Those of us who once lived and identified among the LGBT are thankful that they have been, along with The Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity, faithful to the entire Gospel, championing the hope we have for transformation.
However, I believe the conversation needs greater clarity, especially for those wrestling not only with same-sex attraction but with questions of identity.
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Let me share what I’ve learned through Scripture and personal experience, as someone who once identified as gay but has been transformed by Jesus: there is a difference between experiencing same-sex attraction and embracing a gay identity. Attraction, that is romantic or sexual desires for the same sex, though unchosen, can be a temptation and often arise within a person involuntarily in response to several factors. Identifying as “gay,” especially as a settled, defining label to explain one’s temporary condition, goes beyond temptation or desires, forming a worldview and a self-understanding that is not rooted in Christ. The phrase “gay Christian” blends two incompatible truths: our fallen nature and our new identity in Christ. As believers in Jesus, however, we are not named by our temptations but by our Redeemer. We are saints, not sinners, by status in Christ (1 Cor. 6:11; Eph. 1:1).
God’s Word says, “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Cor. 5:17). That transformation isn’t just a metaphor, it’s the power of God to renew us in heart, mind, and identity. Holding onto a worldly label like “gay,” even if one is committed to celibacy and continues to experience same-sex attractions, diminishes the full hope of sanctification that the Gospel offers. Jesus didn’t just come to forgive our sins; He came to free us from sin’s grip and redeem our lives in Him.
In my journey, healing and transformation didn’t happen overnight. The desire and testing persisted for a season where I was unsuccessful. LGBT activists derisively sneer about people trying to “pray the gay away” but that’s a gross misunderstanding of the process God guided people like me through as I sought the freedom He promises.
What was the first real step toward that freedom? It was choosing not to identify as gay. That didn’t mean denying my struggles; rather, it meant refusing to let them define me. Through discipleship, immersion in God’s Word, and the ongoing sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, those desires gradually changed. When my beliefs changed, and as God renewed my mind, my affections followed (Rom. 12:2).
Focus’s article rightly says that temptation is not a sin. But I believe it falls short when it affirms the possibility of someone “being gay and Christian” without addressing the danger of making sinful desire a core identity. The Scriptures warn not only against sinful acts but also distorted self-perceptions. When the Apostle Paul says, “such were some of you” (1 Cor. 6:11), he speaks of a past identity that no longer defines those washed, sanctified, and justified in Christ.
Saying “I’m a gay Christian” isn’t just acknowledging sinful desires; it affirms a flawed, psychologized anthropology. It suggests that being gay is something God intended, or at least something intrinsic, morally neutral, and immutable. False pride says one must declare one sin as a core identity to prove one’s honesty. We should not fall for that shaming claim. Genesis teaches we are made in the image of God, male and female, and that our sexuality, when rightly ordered, reflects His design. Our desires, though real and not voluntarily chosen, are not who we are, as they can and will be transformed as we grow in maturity in Jesus Christ. They are shaped by beliefs, and those beliefs will be conformed to the mind of Christ.
To those struggling with same-sex attraction, I want you to hear this clearly: you are not alone, and there is hope. God has not forgotten you. He is not ashamed of you. He does, however, call you into something greater than your present experience. Jesus invites you into a new identity, one rooted not in your feelings but in His finished work. You are a beloved child of God, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, you have access to healing and transformation.
Genuine pastoral care does not avoid difficult truths; it embraces and applies them with love. And the truth is this: God can and does transform people in their sexuality, not just in behavior but also in desire. His grace is sufficient not just for self-control, but for the renewal of the heart. He’s done it for me, and He is faithful to do it for all who surrender to Him.
It’s so important to speak with grace, seasoned with salt, that our words might give life (Col. 4:6).
For our God is in the business of making all things new.
Daren Mehl is President of Voice of the Voiceless, a 501c3 ministry amplifying the ex-LGBT Christian testimony in the public square. Daren once lived as a “gay Christian” but has been set free by Jesus. He has been married to his wife Rhoda for 19 years and has two children. Daren and Rhoda have been called to Christian ministry full time. Daren is a Pastor at Warroad Community Church, Co-Founder of Made Free Ministries, Associate Director of Agape First Ministries, on the Board of Association of Christians in Health and Human Services, Operations Manager for The Alliance for Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity, and a frequent guest or keynote speaker at churches and conferences. Daren has written a 12 Session Study Guide called “From Conformed to Transformed” exploring his testimony and 4 distinct doctrines related to LGBT. Daren can be reached at https://linktr.ee/darenmehl.
