Ammo Grrrll has serious reasons for asking WHAT IS A COMMUNITY? She writes:
Among the many tortured and abused words used to lie or distort (“democracy”, “oppression”, “gender affirming care,” etc), “community” looms large.
When I hear the word “community,” naturally, I think warm thoughts of the small town in which I grew up. Perhaps 5 percent of the residents had higher-than-average incomes – doctors, lawyers, the banker, the family that owned the big supermarket. And maybe 5 percent were poor for various reasons (lots of kids, alcoholism, death of the father, handicaps, illness) and were cared for by a combination of government and community assistance.
But that left 90 percent of its families solid middle-class. Those families featured two parents, several children, full-time mothers who might also have a part-time job or home-based business like Avon or Tupperware. There was a large Catholic church with its own parochial school. We public school kids were insanely jealous because the Catholic kids seemed to get off for every Saint’s Day and there appeared to be hundreds of saints! There was one Lutheran church which also had a parochial school; and the regular assortment of other Lutheran, Baptist, Methodist, Episcopal and smaller Evangelical offshoots.
Though we were of many proud ethnicities –the entire smorgasbord of heavily intermarried Scandinavians, Finns, English, Irish, Dutch, Germans and so forth — virtually everybody was white. Nobody seemed either to feel bad about it or superior because of it.
There was close to no crime. The only items we ever noticed shoplifted from our drugstore were ladies’ wrinkle cream (Embarrassment? Denial? Expensive?) and the life-sized cardboard cutout of a young, hot Tom Selleck, the poster boy for Chaz male cologne!
Everyone was patriotic, civic-minded, and a member of one of the political parties that made up our traditional “two-party system.” We did not hate people in the other party or call for their violent destruction. Because we knew that TWO parties were vastly superior to ONE.
Everybody attended and supported the church supper fundraisers put on by every church. Man, those ladies in the ’50s could cook! If I got to choose the manner of my demise, it would be Death By Church Potluck Supper. An inadequate and cheap paper plate sagging with 5 kinds of Hot Dish (Casseroles for city folk), two Salads, not counting three Jell-os melting into the Baked Beans; Cornbread, Biscuits, and – to prevent its being gone before you went back – several kinds of cakes, pies and that Minnesota staple: “bars”!
In short, it was an actual community. I not only knew the names of every family on our block and for two blocks in each direction, but the names of their unfettered dogs. If someone was ill, or in mourning, meals appeared. If an elderly person could no longer drive, someone picked her up for Mass.
But as the ’50s bled into the ’60s, often literally, pundits decided that every identifiable group was a “community,” despite evidence to the contrary. For example, I am sure that for a long time, under pretty consistent attack from the larger society, that black people WERE a “community,” banded together for survival. But when the greatest danger to that community now comes from criminals the same color, and greedy incompetent teachers also the same color who won’t or can’t teach, I’m not sure how accurate that term is today.
I have heard comedians referred to as the “comedy community.” You betcha. You would not BELIEVE the kinds of underhanded things comedians have done to each other, starting with stealing material. Long ago, one jerk from the Twin Cities who could do an impression of Jay Leno somehow called up Johnny Carson as Jay Leno and left insulting messages on his phone! Jay himself told me about it. It took him forever to straighten it out. Comedians who shared apartments listened to their roommates’ answering machines and went to THEIR auditions! And so forth…
What lesbians and gay men, who are perfectly happy being attracted to people of their own sex have in common with mentally confused people who want to mutilate themselves into a different sex I cannot say. The Alphabet Community is an artificial and ever expanding “community” with very little in common.
So what is “community” and how can this lonely world have more of it? When I was first extended the privilege of being a regular Guest Columnist on an already up and thriving site I was grateful and overwhelmed. The site had three brilliant, successful lawyers and a real smart professor. It seemed to me the “intellectual” side was taken. I was tasked to be a humorist, but eventually I also became a kind of Den Mother, deliberately fostering a pleasant and supportive viral community. Which succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.
Joe/Max and I made two big road trips – one west, one southeast – and put beautiful faces to familiar names. With several of our lifelong friends no longer with us, we made NEW friends who had had incredible life experiences, far different from our own. When you make friends in your senior years, you no longer have the luxury of a long, slow period of getting to know each other. People shared very quickly, openly and from their hearts.
And so it occurred to us to try to make that experience available to a wider audience, and hence the three Commenter-Cons, with the fourth in August. And I have to say they have been among the highlights of my life. Our little Friday commenting group argues politely, disagrees politely, shares personal stuff, prays for each other, celebrates victories and mourns tragedies. And mostly just has a lot of silly fun.
It is inevitable, especially since our commentariat skews somewhat older, that we have lost members as well. Well, that has to end, people! No more checking out without a signed note from one of your parents! Because Ammo Grrrll takes it personally.
But while we are still here on our journey, we can continue to ask for prayers, perhaps advice, and know that we are not alone. Unfortunately, one of our most respected contributors, Lt. Col. Ernest (Tony) Peluso, known here as TonyP173, has recently been diagnosed with a challenging cancer (as opposed to one of those Day-At-The-Beach fun type cancers…).
He is a fighter whom you would definitely pick first for a firefight, a bar fight, or Rugby (see, also: Bar Fight). So fight he will. I trust and pray that he will be posting long long long comments for many long long long years to come. But he asked me to bring his situation to your attention because he would love a team of prayer warriors and well wishers to support him and his beautiful wife and fierce advocate, Kathy.
We have prayed for babies and grieving spouses, for the sick and injured, and for our beloved President and beleaguered country. Please put Tony on your prayer list as well. I know there are many among you who have beat cancer, or fought it into remission, or at least wrestled it to a standoff to get many extra years. If you could contact me, so that I could put you in touch with Tony that would be much appreciated. The rest of you, get out there and exercise and eat only what RFK tells us to! Get and stay in fighting form! We need all hands on deck.
