Ammo Grrrll has the inside story on the Dems’ big new project: HERE, BOY! HERE, BOY! She writes:
I predict that the alleged $20 Million the Democrats have earmarked to “win back young men” is, first, probably something like $200 Million, a lot of it part of the “$2 Billion in gold bars pitched off the Titanic” in the waning days of the Ceaușescu, sorry, I mean Biden administration. Not even to mention the newly discovered $63 BILLION in “loans.”
And, second, the entire project is doomed to failure. They cannot attract men without alienating their other constituencies. Period. End of story.
Why not just do what the Communist Party used to do in the ’50’s and ’60s to attract men and especially men of color? Send good-looking women, blondes mostly, to recruit them. What used to be known in the radical movement as “horizontal recruitment.”
Well, I’ll tell you why that will not work – a startling percentage of the young women in the male cohort the Democrats covet have been so thoroughly brainwashed that they believe that normal, healthy masculinity is “toxic.” To avoid being infected by these terrible men, the young women have either joined a short-lived Fat Is Beautiful movement or have wives themselves or have decided to BECOME “men” in order to show XY people how it’s done properly.
Another startling percentage of left-leaning young women are simply so bat guano crazy that they may as well be wearing neck tattoos that say, “Run! Get Away Now While You Can!”
With my new moniker of Deep Thoughts, an insider from the newly formed Democrat committee has approached me to report the initial results of the male-studying anthropological project. Like all leakers, “they” is anonymous, and possibly not even real. (It’s possible this is just parody but, seriously, who could tell the difference?)
I have learned that the new committee, Democrats Underestimating Missing Males In Election Stats, or DUMMIES — because Lincoln Project was already taken — will be headed by that Platonic Ideal of Masculinity, Tim Walz. With his flouncy contribution to Joyful Kamala’s Presidential campaign being the equivalent of tossing an anvil to a drowning woman, he will provide exactly the leadership this Quest for Previously Detested Male Voters requires.
Rounding out the testosterone-laden panel will be Dylan Mulvaney, Mark Hamill, Robert De Niro (just barely squeaking by the height requirement in his lift shoes) plus Michelle Obama and Anita “Mao-Mao” Dunn for race and gender equity. David Hogg WAS initially on the committee, but then was voted off the island for being too white, too male, and, frankly, too insufferable even for the terminally obnoxious.
Remember, Ms. Dunn was head of a MAGA Disparagement Committee that – after weeks of highly paid spit-balling — ran “Ultra MAGA” up the ol’ flagpole and, evidently, enough crazies saluted it to win the day. What a feather in Ms. Dunn’s little Mao cap! After such a triumph, who knows what ideas she might have to “win back young males”?
The one idea they have test-marketed in public is “place ads in video games.” I know very little about gaming except that I was spectacularly bad at it, but I can scarcely imagine a more effective or welcomed place for an ad than in the middle of a high-intensity Combat XXVII kind of video game.
I am proud to say my leaker has favored me with a purloined Audio of the first Committee Meeting: These are dangerous beans that I spill. If you hear that I have died, please know that I DID NOT KILL MYSELF. (If I know me, I probably either choked on some liquid going down “the wrong tube” or tripped over a leaf while out on a walk and hit my head, after attempting to break my fall by re-tearing my rotator cuff — but suicide, never!)
First few minutes of tape include loud shuffling, general swearing, jockeying for position…problems with audio since there were no real men present who might be competent with technology…mic squealing and squawking…
Dunn: Comrades, I think we should begin with a Land Acknowledgement and then have a struggle session about why there are no Indigenous Women represented on the DUMMIES PANEL. And also, to appeal to young men, we need to use more F-bombs.
Walz: Those are great ****ing ideas, Anita, but, first, I would like all our windows opened in case there are any burning tires which remind us all – well my wife, mostly — of the smell of freedom. This is George Floyd Memorial Weekend. Now THERE was a man. Not just a counterfeiter, not just a career criminal, not just an absent father of many children, not just a drug addict, but a man who could stand up to a pregnant woman and point a gun at her pesky fetus and take all her rent money. If that doesn’t spell manly male, then I don’t know what …
De Niro: **** Trump! **** Trump! Trump is Hitler…
Walz: We ****ing know that, Bobby. We told young men that Trump was * * * *ing Hitler but most of them preferred Hitler to us. That’s why we’re here. I mean how the * * * * do you lose to Hitler?
Dylan Mulvaney: Oooh, Tim. I love it when you swear and get all up in people’s [stuff]. Do you happen to have any Doritos left over from the campaign? A girl needs to snack…
Walz: Dylan, everybody, let’s stay on track, Okay? Now, remember, no bad ideas. How can we reach young men with our message of “Meat Is Bad,” “Guns Kill People,” “Running and Weight Lifting Are Sexist,” “Being on Time is Racist,” and “Diversity Is Our Strength As Long As It Doesn’t Include White or Asian Males or Jews in General”?
Michelle: When they go low, we go high. Say, who wants to contribute to my Podcast? What about if we just narrow down the number and kind of men we blame for everything? Let’s say we tell men they are not the enemy unless they are white? Wait, what if we say that we especially love men who are married to other men? In fact, that shows we love men, because two men in a couple is twice the number of men! And that would be more, then, right?
Mark Hamill: Uh, Lord knows I am deeply ashamed of being a white male and I take full responsibility for every crime we have ever committed. But, if we are going to target young males, we should be aware that white males number somewhere around 102 million in this country. That’s quite a few, really, to just write off.
De Niro: **** Trump! **** Trump! ****…
Dunn: Shut the **** up, Bobby. You’re not at the Oscars. We are trying to figure out how to lie to and deceive enough young men to win an **** ing election. Okay, let’s just vote on whether or not we should drop more F-bombs, and maybe also say “Dude” a lot.
Walz: Uh, Anita, I, uh, can’t help man-spreading, it’s how I’m built, but I don’t want to man-splain as well, but I think I’m the chair of this committee and…
Anita Dunn: Go **** yourself, Tim. If you hadn’t been such a tw*t, we wouldn’t have had to worry ever again about how to win an election.
