It has become fashionable in liberal circles to devalue and disparage fathers. A Huffington Post blog post is titled bluntly “Fathers Are Not Needed.”
An Atlantic article says, “The bad news for Dad is that despite common perception, there’s nothing objectively essential about his contribution.”
A New York Times article fumes, “One of the most persistent and frustrating problems in evolutionary biology is the male. Specifically, … why doesn’t he just go away?”
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In academia, social scientists tend to assume that motherhood is natural but that fatherhood is merely cultural. Anthropologist Margaret Mead famously wrote, “Motherhood is a biological necessity, but fatherhood is a social invention.”
But today that commonplace assumption is being proved wrong. Neuroscientists are uncovering the biological underpinnings of fatherhood.
In the first few weeks after a child is born, a father’s biochemistry changes. His level of testosterone goes down, which makes him gentler with small children. At the same time, his level of oxytocin rises, which creates a sense of empathy and bonding. The baby’s oxytocin rises as well, so that a biochemical bond is forged between the father and his newborn. Their brains begin to function symbiotically.
Warren Farrell, author of The Boy Crisis, explains: “When a man becomes a hands-on dad, he activates his ‘dad brain’ — a nest of neurons that would otherwise remain dormant.”
Becoming a father literally stimulates brain growth.
These benefits accrue, however, only if the father is actively holding and playing with his baby. A study published in Trends in Neurosciences says, “Infant contact itself seems to modulate endocrine systems and activate neural circuitry in fathers in a manner that is strikingly similar to that in mothers.”
The Harvard Business Review quotes a new father saying, “When my first child was born, I got to carry her from the delivery room to the nursery. It’s almost like I could feel the chemicals releasing in my brain. I fell so chemically, deeply, in love with my daughter.”
Amazingly, the “dad brain” begins to be activated even before birth, while his wife is still pregnant. In The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father, anthropologist Anna Machin reports, “Research has shown that fathers and mothers who live together during pregnancy exhibit similar levels of circulating oxytocin within the blood.”
Apparently, no one had ever thought before of testing a man’s blood during his wife’s pregnancy. We now know that, even before birth, fathers are being biochemically primed to be a full partner in the parenting team.
The message from science is clear: A strong emotional bond between fathers and their children is encoded into the wiring of the male brain. God has designed the male neurochemistry for fatherhood. The General Social Survey indicates that for men ages 18-55, those who are married with children test out as the happiest.
The good news is that in recent years, the curve has bent slightly, and the amount of time fathers spend with their children has increased. The Pew Research Center found that since 1965, fathers have tripled their hours of childcare. Go to the park on Sundays and you’re likely to see at least a few young fathers pushing strollers or playing with their kids.
Contrary to the cultural script that says men gain most of their identity from their jobs, dads are just as likely as moms to say that parenting is extremely important to their identity. Men also enjoy caring for their children as much as women do. A man quoted in Fatherhood in America said, “My father has proudly stated that he never changed a diaper; I am similarly proud that I have changed hundreds.”
Finally, fathers are crucial for passing on a family’s religious and spiritual convictions. A nationwide Communio study found that 74% of all church attendees ages 18-29 grew up with a father continuously in the home through childhood (age 18). By contrast, young people growing up without a father are more likely to lose their religion.
The largest-ever study of families and religion was conducted by psychologist Vern Bengston, an award-winning 35-year longitudinal study reported in Families and Faith: How Religion Is Passed Down across Generations. His most striking finding is that 68% of children who have a close relationship with their father will carry on their father’s level of religious participation.
“What is really interesting,” Bengston notes, “is that, for religious transmission, having a close bond with one’s father matters even more than a close relationship with one’s mother.”
Fathers wield influence, whether they intend to or not.
Yet the key phrase is “close bond.” “Fervent faith cannot compensate for a distant dad,” Bengston clarifies. “A father who is an exemplar, a pillar of the church, but doesn’t provide warmth and affirmation to his kid does not have kids who follow him in his faith.”
This Father’s Day, we can be courageously countercultural by affirming that when men become committed, engaged fathers, everyone benefits — including the men themselves.
We can remind men that the Ultimate Reality, the Uncaused Cause of the Universe, calls Himself by the name of “Father.” Men have the dignity of bearing His image. Father’s Day should be a time to encourage men to embrace that high calling.
Nancy Pearcey is a professor and scholar in residence at Houston Christian University. She has authored several bestselling books, including Total Truth and Love Thy Body. This article is adapted from The Toxic War on Masculinity. Connect with her at https://www.nancypearcey.com/.
