Young women are leaving the Church for a reason

By Brandon Showalter, Opinion writer and social commentator Thursday, December 04, 2025

Young men are going to church in increasing numbers, according to recent data, and women in the same age bracket are increasingly irreligious, which is a markedly unusual demographic shift. 

So, why is this, and what is happening? What kind of churches are these men flocking to, and why are they going? Those are interesting questions, and there are several layers to explore. 

But among some young men, the Holy Spirit indeed appears to be moving powerfully. 

Various narratives are swirling today about disaffected and demoralized young men, but what seems clear is that many of them are yearning for something more, and they’ve found the broader culture to be empty. In May, The Wall Street Journal published a moving story about how churches are ministering to struggling boys and young men who are seeking a godly sense of manhood to inhabit. For these young men, I rejoice and pray that they encounter God, that they continue to deepen their faith, and be transformed. 

Concurrently, I’m burdened for many young women, many of whom have thrown their hands up, exasperated and wounded, and they can’t be a part of churches anymore. 

And before anyone calls me a virtue-signaling “white knight,” I’ll readily acknowledge that women sin as much as men, and many virtuous men struggle to confront particular sins toward which women are more often inclined. I’m sure some women are leaving churches for self-centered reasons. And as for female false teachers, bloggers, podcasters and authors? Like their male counterparts, they must be resisted as the sheep-devouring wolves they are.  

But if you dig deeper and care to listen to many young women, you will discover there’s more to the story than the data, popular stereotypes and conventional wisdom, and it’s the following: 

Many young women aren’t leaving churches because they’re secretly liberal feminists and hate men, harbor disdain for God’s righteousness, embrace heresies, or because they don’t want their vices and sinful habits challenged. They are leaving because they are hurting, ignored and demeaned, and they often face blatant sexism. They are voting with their feet, and they’re trying to tell you something. Instead of being listened to, they have the script flipped on them and find themselves unfairly blamed for the very issues they dare to raise.

Surely not, you might counter. Haven’t churches, especially Evangelical ones, been overly feminized in the last few decades? Don’t many churches cater to women’s tastes and preferences? Isn’t this uptick of young men returning to church an answer to prayer and a long-overdue course-correction?

Again, for the young men genuinely seeking God and encountering Him, I am heartened. But hear me out. Actually … hear your sisters out. I’ve crowd-sourced these sisters in the Lord who are godly, theologically orthodox believers in Jesus Christ. Consider these anecdotes from a cross-section of denominations and states. 

•  “You really don’t want to get married,” an Idaho woman was told (by a male student at Moody Bible Institute) when she signed up for an advanced Greek class.
• “You’re smart for a girl,” according to a Baptist man, said to a young woman in Florida.
• “God doesn’t call women to a ministry. He calls them to a man,” a seminary president said to an Illinois Baptist woman. That same woman was also told, by another man, that “it was OK for me to share my thoughts in a group of mixed company. But I couldn’t share the scriptures that had informed those thoughts. Because once I did that, I became a teacher, and that was not acceptable when men [were] in the group.” Oh, and she also could not “expect men not to leer at my body” since “God wired them that way.”
• “Your husband needs to control you,” (for expressing theologically-informed thoughts in the wild).
• “I will not continue to talk with you, because it’s wrong for a woman to teach a man. You are a feminist, so I don’t have to respond to your point.”
• A line being circulated online with increasing regularity and fervor nowadays is: “The 19th Amendment was America’s downfall.”

This is but a sample of the dozens I received. Brothers, do these examples surprise you? They should. Do they seem cartoonish, extreme and gratuitously mean-spirited? They are. And they are real, and more common than you might think. 

Decent, godly men neither think nor act this way. But they also may not always notice. Do you know who is likely not surprised? Many of your sisters in Christ are not shocked by these anecdotes whatsoever. 

You might ask them about the chauvinistic nonsense they’ve experienced, even in churches you might never expect to hear or see it. You might be surprised to learn about the demeaning subtleties they’ve observed church leaders, elders, and other professing Christian men whisper under their breath.

And if your sisters in Christ check out the jungle that is Christian Twitter/X? 

Foreign bots, chaos agents, manipulative and highly coordinated influence campaigns, and algorithmic throttling are all factors on that dizzying social media platform, and a cursory scroll through the average feed presents a skewed picture of reality. But a growing number of professing Christian men over there, some of whom have tens of thousands of followers, display horrendous attitudes, and they grieve the heart of the Lord with the ugliness they direct at women, His daughters. Some of the content they post is disgraceful and unbecoming of any Christian man, and, unfortunately, they generate millions of views, creating warped impressions that this is how supposed “men of God” truly think.  

Lest you doubt me, consider the bilge Allie Beth Stuckey, host of the Relatable podcast, received, after urging men to reject pornography, among other noble things, at an October TPUSA event at Louisiana State University. Let me tell you, brothers, your sisters in Christ notice your silence when you don’t push back against these cretinous bullies and, unless they know you well, some of them wonder if you secretly agree with them. 

But, you insist, the online morass of social media is so distorted and not real life! That’s true to a point, but many men are being partially discipled by bad actors posing as pastors online, and those worlds have collided more than you might realize, and there is a dreadful spillover effect.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention how many women instinctively respond when they behold (mostly male) leaders mishandle cases of sexual misconduct and abuse within churches. If those incidents involve children? They don’t just walk out the church doors. They bolt. And when they find out that a sizable percentage of their brothers in Christ are hooked on porn? They ask themselves: Why should I even bother being here?  

To the young men seeking the Lord and now attending church in greater numbers, hungry for community and longing to know God and his righteous ways, I challenge you: As you are being built up in faith, remember your sisters. If you see them being mistreated? Call it out. Don’t passively accept it or dismiss those who mistreat them as though they are a clownish fringe and, therefore, unworthy of your attention. Sticking up for your sisters does not make you a “simp” for third-wave feminism. It’s displaying the virtue of manliness that many of you wish to embody. 

Just as Priscilla edified Apollos (Acts 18:26), your sisters have wise, discerning things to say that you need to hear. They are not all “boss babes” vying to dominate, usurp authority, and spread destructive teachings contrary to the Gospel.

Many believers have indeed interceded for years, if not decades, that young men would come to know the Lord and exhibit godly character in a culture saturated with gross darkness. And chauvinism? That’s a gross, ungodly darkness. 

Brothers, follow the leading of the Holy Spirit, and defend your sisters. And pray that they, too, encounter the living God, Jesus, who loves them.