Australia is one of the United States’ best allies in the Pacific. It’s a relationship that goes back decades. During World War 2, the United States Navy may well have prevented the Japanese from moving on Australia, and a lot of sailors, soldiers, and Marines went on R&R in Australia. Americans and Aussies are, like Americans and the Brits, two people separated by a common language – one could probably write a very amusing book on Australian slang, such as when an Aussie says he’ll “pop round and knock you up,” that means he’ll come to your house and knock on the door. That saying, of course, means something very different in the States, and that’s something I have a very funny, if off-color, story about.
Another thing that separates us is food. Most specifically, Vegemite. This thick, brown paste is a by-product of beer brewing, made up of the paste of leftover brewer’s yeast extract, mixed with salt, malt extract, vegetable extracts, and spices. It is reportedly (I’ve never tried it) salty, bitter, something like concentrated soy sauce. Aussies put it on toast, crackers, or in sandwiches; it’s something of a staple Down Under.
So, when an Australian inmate sues for his right to eat Vegemite, well, maybe we shouldn’t be overly surprised.
A prisoner is challenging an Australian state’s ban on inmates eating Vegemite, claiming in a lawsuit that withholding the polarizing yeast-based spread breaches his human right to “enjoy his culture as an Australian.”
Andre McKechnie, 54, serving a life sentence for murder, took his battle for the salty, sticky, brown byproduct of brewing beer to the Supreme Court of Victoria, according to documents released to The Associated Press on Tuesday.
Well, he might have a point about the Australian culture thing, although in plenty of places, a diet of Vegemite may well be considered a punishment, or at least, you Vegemite expect.
Most Australians revere Vegemite as an unfairly maligned culinary icon, and more than 80% of Australian households are estimated to have a jar in their pantries. But inmates in all 12 prisons in Victoria are going without.
McKechnie is suing Victoria’s Department of Justice and Community Safety and the agency that manages the prisons, Corrections Victoria. The case is scheduled for trial next year.
It seems that Vegemite has a distinct odor that can confuse drug-smelling dogs and prevent them from picking up on illicit substances that may be smuggled inside a Vegemite jar. That’s the stated reason for the Vegemite ban, although one wonders if there isn’t a “cruel and unusual punishment” aspect to it as well.
Read More: Trump Has Humorous Moment With Australian Leader, Walks Away With Great Deal
Throw Another Burger on the Barbie: Trump Wins Again As Australia Lifts Import Ban on US Beef
I’m reminded of the time an American, visiting Australia, was invited to play a round of golf. Due probably to note taking the southern hemisphere’s reversed Coriolis Effect into account, his first shot landed in a sand trap. When he found the ball, nestled in the sand, his caddy handed him an odd-looking club, one no doubt (again) attuned to the southern hemisphere. A uniquely Australian club, clearly; the American asked his caddy, “What is this?”
The caddy replied: “It’s a Vegemite sand wedge.”
OK, I’m rather impressed that I managed two Vegemite puns. This seems appropriate.
Editor’s Note: Help us continue to report the truth about the ins and outs of foreign relations, about America’s allies and our rivals – and about how we can be friends with another nation without understanding how they could eat anything like Vegemite.
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